In the tapestry of human emotions, few threads are as intricate and delicate as the decision to part ways from a relationship that once held our heart captive. Just as a skilled artist might contemplate each brushstroke, so too must we contemplate the rhythm of our heartbeats when faced with the crossroads of moving on or holding on. This poignant juncture calls forth a symphony of emotions, each note resonating with the harmonious struggle of bidding adieu to the past and heralding the advent of a new beginning.
When I left my ex, I felt like I was closing a chapter, and I was scared what that meant… What if my next chapter wasn’t as good, as meaningful to my whole story as the one I was closing? What if I’d made a mistake? Despite how toxic our relationship had become, what if I was walking away from the person I was supposed to be with… what if I never found someone else who supported me with my writing aspirations?
All these questions ricocheted inside my head as my house faded from view and I drove to Atlanta to my friend’s house, who had graciously offered her guest bedroom temporarily until I found an affordable place of my own. About 15 minutes into the drive, my head quieted as the noise of the questions was replaced with the sound of the music blaring from my car radio—until about 10 minutes before I arrived at Jessie’s house.
With my doubt dissipating, my courage slowly made its appearance just as the lights of Atlanta made theirs into my sights… What if this next chapter is the best of my life’s story—what if this moment changes my life so pivotally that I finally find the happiness and love that all of us deserve?
It is in these moments of heart-wrenching contemplation that we realize the profound beauty inherent in the very essence of change. The decision to walk away from a relationship is an acknowledgement of the evolving chapters of our lives, and a testament to our resilience in the face of the unknown. It is akin to a protagonist of a novel bravely stepping away from the familiarity of their setting, daring to venture into uncharted territories. In this embrace of uncertainty, we cultivate a renewed sense of self, untethered from the confinements of yesterday’s narrative.
The allure of a new beginning lies not merely in its novelty, but in the tender possibility of growth it holds. Just as a budding flower breaks free from the constraints of its bud, so too do we unfurl our potential as we walk away from the shores of our past. The prospect of transformation becomes our muse, igniting the creative sparks within us. We reimagine our identity, envisioning the narrative arcs that might unfold in the blank pages of our lives.
In the realm of literature, countless tales have woven the intricate fabric of this decision. Characters from classic novels to contemporary stories have grappled with the weight of similar choices, each finding their own path towards new beginnings. Just as a character’s evolution captivates readers, so too does our journey as individuals fascinate those around us. Our stories are chapters of a narrative that constantly evolves, drawing connections between our past and the fertile ground of possibility that stretches before us.
The difficult road definitely lead to a beautiful destination—one of introspection and self discovery, where self-doubt has been replaced by confidence and courage to tackle anything without the same fear I was burdened with in my last chapter. Looking back, it was actually this blog and the path it lead me down that kindled that courage to leave in the first place. I think the accomplishment of compiling, editing, and publishing Twice Upon A Time, seeing it in print, and holding it in my hand was like holding a missing key to a door I had to—despite the fear and the pain that it stirred—unlock and open… and eventually close behind me.
This next chapter for me, so far, has been somewhat of a fairytale, if I am being honest. I found not only someone who supports and loves me, but someone who communicates with the honesty and compassion that’s needed for a successful, happy, and lasting relationship. We share similar goals and dreams and actually built a music event production company together from the ground up.
On Leap Day 2020, Emerich and I took our own leap and married each other at the Punta Borinquen lighthouse in Aguadilla, Puerto Rico, high on a cliff overlooking its western shores, surrounded by family and friends—literally a week and a half before the COVID lockdown, which only made our bond stronger, our relationship healthier, and our dreams for our future even bigger—and in 2022, after both of us had spent nearly two decades in Atlanta, we packed up our belongings and relocated to Tampa, Florida.